Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Oh, Waiter! I Didn’t Order This!

(One of several essays I've written, which I then used for Sacrament meeting talks. Also available in German.)

Some time ago I went out to eat at a nice restaurant. After contemplating the extensive menu, I finally selected and ordered what promised to be a delicious meal. When my plate was served, however, it did not appear as I expected and I questioned the waiter whether this was really what I had ordered. He assured me it was, so I decided to give it a try. But I just didn’t like it. In my more timid youth, I would never had said anything, even if the order was completely wrong. But when I thought of how much I was going to be paying for this dish, and the high hopes I had for it, I decided to be more assertive and politely asked the waiter if I could have something different. He was very accommodating and said something to the effect of: “Certainly. Life’s too short to have to eat something you don’t like.” When the new dish arrived, it was delicious, and the evening went more like I had hoped it would.
A few months later I received some disappointing news – something I had worked and prayed for wasn’t going to happen. After a heavy sigh, I thought to myself: “I’ve tried so hard, and this is what I get…. I didn’t order this. Send it back!” I had to chuckle, since my comment must have drawn upon my experience in the restaurant. Which made me ask myself: how much have I been treating my Heavenly Father like a waiter? How many of my prayers have been like ordering off a menu? “I’ll take one of those, and one of those, and… because I’ve been particularly good, one of those.” And then when the blessings arrive, disguised as everyday circumstances, I reject them because they’re not exactly what I ordered. Or if the blessings don’t come at all, I wonder about the level of service I’m getting.
All kidding aside, how many times have I been disappointed that my prayers were not answered just how I thought they should have been. How many times have I prayed for health and still gotten sick? How many times have I prayed for adequate financial success and still suffered setbacks? If I started to make a list of all the things I asked for and didn’t get, the list would be long and discouraging. I may be tempted to tally up the times I asked for bread, but was given a stone (see Matthew 7:9), or at least that’s what it looked like to me. But how would this help? How would this lead me to “praise God, from whom all blessings flow”? (Hymn 242) And most importantly, what would this do to my relationship with my Father in Heaven?
One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that expectations—those often unspoken things we want from another person—can be one of the hardest things on a relationship, especially if those expectations are unfulfilled. The greater the expectations, the greater the potential for disappointment. But I realized I was putting unfair expectations on my Heavenly Father, without fully consulting Him. I was expecting Him to follow my commands, as if He were my waiter, my genie, my grantor of wishes. I wondered why, if I was created in His image, was I trying to mold God to my own idea of what He should be? When expectations are shattered, and tragedy leads to despair, am I quick to accuse God of not following my plan, or even to question His existence: “How could a loving God allow this to happen?”
It is in those moments of greatest anguish, when I may feel most forsaken and forgotten, that I can reach out to my Heavenly Father and learn of His love for me. Rather than throw out an accusing, rhetorical question such as “why are You doing this to me?”, I can approach my Father in Heaven in meekness, seeking wisdom and understanding, and most of all, patience. Answers may not come quickly, or in the manner I expect, or perhaps not at all. But comfort and closeness can come just in the asking. Talking with Him and attentively listening, exercising humility and expressing gratitude for the blessings I enjoy – in spite of losses and heartaches, I can begin to know God as He really is, rather than simply how I think He ought to be. I have come to realize that some things that seem negative in my life are not so much hurtful as they are simply contrary to what I had planned on. I have come to know that sometimes bad things happen because of my own choices, or because of other people’s choices, or because the Lord is refining me (Isaiah 48:10) or accomplishing some other work. Or perhaps I am just experiencing one of the effects of life on this earth with its natural laws, which was also part of the plan of happiness which I joyfully embraced. I have a testimony that the Lord can intervene in miraculous ways to shield us from misfortune, but in His wisdom may not always do so. And He will never bless us by forcing someone else to behave a certain way, negating that person’s agency.
I recently read something President Boyd K. Packer taught on this subject: “Until you have a broad perspective of the eternal nature of [the plan], you won’t make much sense out of the inequities in life. Some are born with so little and others with so much. Some are born in poverty, with handicaps, with pain, with suffering. Some experience premature death, even innocent children. There are the brutal, unforgiving forces of nature and the brutality of man to man. We have seen a lot of that recently.


“Do not suppose that God willfully causes that which, for His own purposes, he permits. When you know the plan and the purpose of it all, even these things will manifest a loving Father in Heaven” ( The Play and the Plan [satellite broadcast, 7 May 1995], 1–2) [emphasis added].
In the early days of the Church, many righteous members suffered painful, violent persecution, just as many believers have throughout history. While crossing the plains to the Salt Lake Valley, many saints were protected in miraculous ways, while others suffered greatly or even died along the way. We need not assume God loved some and not others. Rather, we can take comfort in the fact that He knows and loves each one of us, even to the hairs on our head (Luke 12:6-7), and will give those gifts best suited for each person individually. And as painful as it may be, we can learn and grow from every experience. We are not intended to go through life without any challenges or trials. Indeed, the Lord has told us that we will have afflictions, but encourages us to be patient and he will help us to bear them and become stronger for them. “Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.” (D&C 24:8. See also Alma 26:27-31 and Mosiah 24:10-15.)
If we realize that life may not go as we plan, that our prayers may not be answered in the manner and time that we want, should we stop asking and stop striving? Of course not! The Lord counseled us: “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (D&C 88:63; see also Alma 34:17-27).
In our Bible Dictionary, part of the definition of prayer teaches: “As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part ( Matt. 7:7–11 ). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.”
We are also to be “anxiously engaged in a good cause… and bring to pass much righteousness” (D&C 58:27-28). By serving others, we become instruments in the Lord’s hand to answer their prayers, and we will begin to shed the selfishness that causes us to question God’s love and His motives. To paraphrase John F. Kennedy:  Ask not what God can do for you – ask God what you can do for His children.
In closing, let me share one of my favorite scriptures, from Moroni 7:48: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure.”
I am finally comprehending that as I seek to know my Heavenly Father, and to become more like Him, and stop treating Him like my personal waiter, I will build that relationship of loving Father and obedient child, rather than the sometimes willful child who does not always get what he wants. I will more clearly see the countless blessings he has already bestowed on me. As I do so, I will be better prepared to take on whatever life dishes out.

© 2014 Curt Whittaker

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